Yesterday during church worship, I didn't feel much like singing, which I know is bad. I guess I'm just mad at God right now. I didn't think I was, but I guess I am. I mean, Britt's grandpa was fine and much better and he's sick again and her dad is sick too. And my grandpa is on oxygen and has very few white blood cells. His vital signs and heart are very good, but he's so sick cause of those missing white blood cells. So I guess I am mad at God. But everything supposedly happens for a reason, right?

And yes, I would like my grandpa to be in heaven with Jesus enjoying himself rather than in pain, and I do realize it is selfish of me to want him here, but I've only gotten to know him these last five years! I just don't understand why God would take him when I have had very few time. If only I hadn't lived in California...if only I had been born here...I'd probably know him a lot better. So it just makes me mad that God would take him when I haven't known him that long.

And what's going to happen to Speck and Terri, his adorable dogs? I can't not ever see them again!